The Secret Cure to Shame

As defined by Google, shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

But you know shame as the feeling in your gut when you feel that everyone has just discovered what a fraud you are. When it feels like you're standing there naked in front of your biggest enemy. When you want to run away from your life.

Shame is experienced as one of the most intense emotions. You can read endless books and watch Ted talks about shame for days. Shame has become so infamous because we can all relate to it. We can all remember time when we felt so overcome by shame that we thought we might die.

But what made shame so powerful?

When did shame rise above all the others - love, confidence, even sadness - to become this intense and pervasive awfulness we’ve all commonly experienced?

Here's the good news and the bad news:

You did. You made shame that powerful.

You made shame that powerful when you chose to suffer in silence. Shame over our bodies, shame around not being good enough, shame about our self worth. 

That’s the dark nasty stuff that we don't want to share with anyone. That’s how shame is born, and that’s where it gets its power.

The good news?

You can change that. You can disempower your shame. You can rip it from it’s emotional throne.

Shame is only “shame” because, according to the definition, it’s associated with a foolish behavior. It’s only “shame” because you feel humiliation and distress associated with it. 

Ask yourself this:
Was my behavior foolish or wrong?
And should I be feeling humiliation or distress about this?

Some of the top reasons we feel and experience shame have nothing to do with foolish behavior! In fact, I’m more apt to share stories about something foolish I did than the things I actually feel shameful about! 

I’d rather tell you a story about how I was looking for my cell phone while holding it than tell you about my deep insecurity of never being successful. 

And the second question: should I be feeling humiliation or distress? Think about the top 1 or 2 things you have shame about. Should you be feeling humiliation or distress about that? Probably not! 

But not to worry… I have a cure!

Want to get rid of that awful, gut-wrenching, anxiety-inducing shame stuff forever? 

Share it. Share your shame. Tell people that you love and that love you about all the secret shaming thoughts and ideas your having. 

Shame only works when it hides in secret. It hates the light! When you shine light on your shame, magic happens… it disappears! 

I’m not being facetious here. It’s true. Try it for yourself. Call a close friend, tell her something you’re ashamed of, and see what happens! 

A fuller, happier life is just on the other side of your shame. It’s all in your power!