I was inspired to have May’s theme be motherhood when I attended the motherhood panel during the Lady Project Summit. I was only there to support three of my friends who were on the panel but by the end, I realized there were a lot of stories to share and I wanted them on the blog. First off, whoever downplays all the work a mother does needs to reevaluate everything. They can actually have several seats. To me, the energy in the room felt like it was therapeutic for these women to be together being honest about what they go through on the day to day basis as a mother. Pressure is high to be a “perfect” mother but it seems like most of that pressure is being applied by themselves. Why do women not want to talk about the struggles of being a mom? I assume it is because they fear of being judged. I feel if they were a bit more honest, that fear would go away and there would be a lot more support. But maybe it’s easier for me to say that since I am not a mother. What I do know is these women were awesome and I felt lucky to have heard just a little bit of their story.
Personally, I am pretty far from being a mother. I am a single woman in my mid-30s and motherhood is not really a thought for me. When I see my friends’ kids I think they’re cute and funny but I never get the desire to have one of my own. I’m definitely in auntie mode. They’re fun to hang out with but I definitely end up overwhelmed by the end. As much as my friends say I would be a good mother, I don’t feel it in me. I used to say if I had a kid, I want it “when it’s done” (meaning after the age of five). Lately, the thought of adopting a teenager sounds way more appealing to me. There are so many children and teens who need homes. I would rather open up my home to one of them than have a biological child.
I think of my own relationship with my mother. It could be better (that’s simplifying it). That moment growing up when you realize your mother is just human like the rest of us is a heavy one. I struggle to figure out how to repair our relationship. Some choices made years and years ago has affected me to this day. Has my relationship with her made me not want kids of my own? Maybe. Could I do a “better job”? Maybe. I’m not sure. I do know that I don’t want to risk it and see.
Being a mother can bring the greatest joys, the biggest stress, and the deepest heartache. This month on The Lady Project Blog we are discussing all things motherhood. From the desire to be a mother to not wanting to have kids. From being an awesome auntie to becoming a stepmother. From losing your mother to losing a child. From talking about postpartum depression to ending parent shaming. For sensitive topics, I will begin each article with a trigger warning (TW). I hope this month will open up a discussion of all aspects of being a woman and a mother.